Our Habits run our Lives

It's strange how willing we sometimes are to learn a bad habit. There's nothing wrong with habits, in fact we depend on them - the things we have learned so well that we do them unconsciously. You could say that our habits run our lives most of the time. It's not a problem unless we have habits that work against us, like smoking, overeating or drinking too much alcohol.

Breaking Bad Habits: How to Stop Smoking with Ease

'I'm suprisingly doing ok actually. To be honest I was a bit cynical about it working, but it has. I feel pretty good, havent smoked or had any cravings or anything. Thank you very much for your help.' - S.T. Redruth

'...our sessions have helped me rebuild my confidence and deal with my insecurities. The transformation in me as a person has been quite dramatic: my relationships are stronger, I've been able to give up smoking and most difficult of all for me, I can now make decisions and follow them through. The stresses and strains of everyday life are now just ripples on a pond!' - LJ

A number of studies have reported that some two thirds of current smokers report that they would like to quit smoking (WHO, 1999).

Many of us at some stage of our lives have smoked a cigarette and for most people it was a mixed experience. It may have been a long time ago, but you might still remember the giddiness and sick feeling when you started. We tended to put a brave face on it - after all, we only wanted to look cool and grown up, to be like our friends, so we persevered until our bodies got into the habit of breathing smoke, even though that's an unnatural thing to do.

Then the habit took over. I have helped hundreds of people who really would have preferred to quit, who didn't actually enjoy smoking, but who didn't know how to stop. Typically, people try to deal with bad habits by telling themselves off:

'Now there I go again! Why do I keep doing the same silly things? I must be stupid, I know it's bad for me …' and it doesn't work.

You see, the trouble with habits is that they are run by our unconscious minds - and the unconscious doesn't do logic. Despite health warnings we still smoke, as if nothing bad can happen to us.

What works?

What can we do to stop smoking, feel more confident, stop anxious thoughts, stop undermining ourselves and start to feel more in charge of our lives?

'Which' magazine has found that hypnotherapy is the most effective way to stop smoking. The University of Iowa combined results of over 600 studies covering 72,000 people from Europe and the U.S. These studies also concluded that hypnotherapy is the most effective way to stop smoking.

In my experience it's a case of getting on the right wavelength to address the problem and, since our habits are unconscious, using an unconscious approach to change them. When you use the right approach it's amazing how much quicker and easier it is to succeed. Can you imagine how much better you'll feel when you've taken charge of your habits and you're living the life you want to live?

Go on, dare to dream!

Frequently asked questions

Will I put on Weight when I stop?

In the past, some people who succeeded in quitting found that their unconscious minds tried to replace tobacco with overeating. It's easy to understand how this happened when you remember that your unconscious only ever wants to help you. (I know, sometimes it has a funny way of doing it, but remember: it doesn't use logic.)

You see, your unconscious learns to run a habit for you because it thinks that's what you want. The trouble is, when you've changed your conscious mind about what you want, you're still stuck with the habit.

I use a modern combination of NLP and hypnosis, not only to help make it easy to stop smoking, but also to prevent you from feeling the need to replace smoking with food by helping your unconscious to choose for itself new, healthy ways of helping you. New habits are much easier for you to learn when they fit well with what you really want - like being healthier, feeling better and being more confident that you can live the life you really want to live.

Is It Scary?

No. I use a friendly, common-sense approach and I don't tell you what to do. Instead, I take the trouble to find out what really matters to you and how you want things to be. (see the Online Questionnaire on this site) This way, you stay in charge all the time. Hypnosis feels lovely. The sensations are relaxing and calm. As you learn to work with your unconscious you may develop a greater sense of being 'at one' with yourself - many people do.

How long will it take?

Most of my clients have succeeded in quitting in just one session. Some people find they need two and a very few people see me three times. I'm so confident that I can help you that, if you need to see me again to quit smoking, I won't charge you.

Breaking Bad Habits: Weight Loss

'I am now 3 stones lighter, in full control of my eating and exercise habits and am much happier all round. More importantly, all of my energies are going in the right direction, i.e. keeping me resourceful, focused and confident. I would recommend Graham to anyne who felt that they wanted to achieve something (no matter how big or small) but didn't know where to start.' MW

'I had always had a problem with binge eating. Since my sessions with Graham I have the figure I want. I no longer feel the urge to binge, I'm calmer and I sleep better.' DS

Many of my clients have tried dieting and exercise programmes without lasting success. Of course a sensible diet and regular exercise can both help, but their results often tend to be short-lived.

I help people to change their habits of mind from the inside so they truly can succeed in changing their relationship with eating. When your mental habits work well for you there is no internal struggle. How you estime or judge yourself can have powerful effects on your life. Many clients tell me of their 'critical voice' - a commentary on their behaviour that undermines them so much. You can learn to overcome these old habits and develop new ones that help you to be more fully who you really are.

Breaking Bad Habits: Relaxation Music Support

Many people I have helped to succeed in quitting simply lose all interest in tobacco and don't feel the lack of a little outside help, to replace the routines of smoking. Some others find it very helpful to be able to replace the sensation of stress relief that they had associated with cigarettes. Especially for those brave souls who have given up without help, one of the first things to think about is, once you've given up smoking, what will you use to help you relax when you're in a stressful situation?

A common trap people have struggled with is comfort eating: putting food in your mouth instead of a cigarette. (see FAQs) Now there is an alternative. Nicotine relieves stress and relaxes the muscles through its interaction with brain chemicals, so it's handy to be able to replace one stress reliever with a better one that does you no harm.

So many people have .mp3 players these days that it's practical to put something in your ears rather than your mouth. I have created a range of relaxation downloads of different lengths.

All of them feature beautiful, calming music and powerful relaxation aids that stimulate your own parasympathetic nervous system - your relaxation response. Instead of standing outside puffing on something that will hurt you, stay in the warm and listen to a short piece of calming music that will bring you safe, powerful relaxation with no ill-effects at all.

The downloads are edited from Calmtime - a uniquely effective relaxation CD. You can find all you need to know at www.calmtime.co.uk , including downloads.

'Perhaps like many of us I had reached the stage where the niggles, worries, regrets and self-recriminations had become boring, not to say just a little exhausting. The effects of my meetings with Graham have been both subtle and startling. I am calmer, less stresed, more focused and generally one hell of a lot happier. Embarrassingly, my children think it's done me good too! A great experience, thanks Graham.' SK